Read below the essay by Preslava Gyuzleva for the University Council Essay Competition 2025 themed “Connection, Community, and Solidarity”
The prompt for the essay was “You are not alone, and you are not invisible”- Clay Jensen, 13 Reasons Why (2017); Reflect on how young people can build support networks to help one another during difficult times. Why is it important to reach out for help when feeling isolated, and how can this solidarity foster personal growth?
It is 6:10 on a Wednesday morning. I am walking with a friend to the park while holding a cup of instant coffee. I have been to the park before. I drink instant coffee every day. And yet, there is something special and memorable about this particular moment.
It is Friday, around 7 pm. The person I have feelings for is making tea for us and I am sitting at their table nervously, hoping that my hair looks nice. I have been to their house, they have made tea for me before. And still, it feels as if something very significant is happening.
It is recess. I do not remember the day or time because this was seven years ago. I am sitting next to a girl I barely know because it is the beginning of high school. We are eating the sandwiches our mothers made for us. It is a sandwich like any other (in fact, I would say it was a bit subpar) and an uneventful school day. But I do not think I will ever forget this.
These encounters have something in common. In all three seemingly meaningless situations, there were talks. This is to be expected and, quite frankly, considered a lot more acceptable than sitting in complete silence. Young people love talking to their peers, do they not? If they are not in the café or the study room to do so in person, they are probably on their phone, messaging their friends about something so important that it has to be shared immediately. I can hardly imagine my life without conversations with those close to me and I believe the same goes for them. We all exist in relation to others and even in this age of hyperindividualism, each of us is part of a network- literally and figuratively. We are connected thanks to technology, conveniently called “the web’’, but we also partake in numerous small societies all tied to one another. For better, or worse, we are never alone and few of our actions go unnoticed by our community. As long as these networks exist, and it is safe to say they will be here for a while considering they are one of the pillars of civilization, there will be something to talk about. And, more importantly, there will be someone to talk to.
I would like to take friendship, which I mentioned a few paragraphs back, as an example. It is one of the core values in a young person’s life. Friendships are the first connections you have to create and maintain entirely yourself, as family is who you are born to and romantic relationships come much later. On the first day of kindergarten, you gather the courage to talk to that one kid who has your favorite cartoon character on their t-shirt. On the first day of university, you invite the person who sat next to you during a lecture to come grab a coffee with you in hopes that you will not have to spend the rest of the day alone in your dorm room, terrified of this new environment and crying on the phone with your parents that you want to come back home.
Friends are our anchors in the stormy and volatile sea of life. They make our days easier, sometimes just by being present. They share our interests and values, which makes us feel heard and seen. It shows us that no matter how strange or even how unfit for human connection we think we are, there is somebody who understands us, relates to us and is willing to support us and stick around despite our quirks. In fact, it is often precisely these quirks that get our friends to cherish us. The peculiar sense of humor and extravagant clothing style that might push some people away is what your friends recognize you by and encourage you to never change. They know you as this colorful person who would make a witty comment about something they never thought of.
But what happens when it is not laughter and groovy clothes? What happens when you struggle and feel alone? Will your friends cherish you for that like they did for your likeable qualities? Fortunately, the answer is yes. As I mentioned, few things go unnoticed in our little societies. Your close friends will easily pick up on the signals that something is off. Whether they approach you directly is up to your demeanor at the given moment, but they will try, even subconsciously, to alleviate your pain. They will show you that you are not alone in your struggle and this in itself is a salve like no other.
The three situations I described at the beginning all took place during very difficult times of my life. There were talks. There was empathy. There were people. I will remember these moments because they showed me solidarity and friendship exist. And not only do they exist- they walk with me in all my days, as tangible as instant coffee, lukewarm tea and sandwiches made by my mom. And there is nothing I am more grateful for.
